So it’s been awhile.

Almost an entire month, in fact.

I can’t believe July has flown by as quickly as it has. Things have really started turning around for me.

Last time I wrote, I reflected on all that had happened in June. A lot happened. A lot of crappy stuff happened. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t struggle to get through the month, to get through some of those days. But July came, and taking time to step away from everything, if only for a day or two, made me feel…good. Like myself. It was a feeling I missed and it wasn’t until I was faced with feeling that way that I realized what a struggle the month prior had been for me.

I haven’t really written because there isn’t too much going on. The little moments (like setting up my office, getting a PR in CrossFit, or getting a couple of new ear piercings) are documented on my photo blog. And within those “little moments” are the bigger, more significant ones.

I visited an old friend in Boston for Fourth of July and had an amazing time. I celebrated my brother’s birthday with him. I spent time with my friends who recently got engaged. I went to my cousin’s wedding and celebrated the union of two people who deserve the absolute best. I started a new job. I found out one of my best friends is struggling with cancer for a third time. I spent a lot of time with said friend, and some other ones. I started reaching out to family more. I RXed on a CrossFit workout for the first time. I said goodbye to one of my best friends–my brother–when he left this morning to move across country to California.

Some of these moments are sad and some are exciting and some are scary. But all of them, whether they are seemingly big or small, are huge. Every single moment is shaping me into the person I am supposed to be.

When I first looked back on my photo blog, I got a sense of sadness over various degrees of loss. Whether it was the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship…for me, there was a sense of failure and a sense of negativity. But when I really sat down and reflected on all the photos? Wow. Seriously. Yeah, there are some trivial, stupid things in there. And yes, there are some heavy things in there. But in all of those photos is a tangible representation of the past seven months, and all the good and bad those months have held, and just how much has happened to me in such a short time. And you know what? I got through it.

So July is over. What is there to look forward to in August?

  • My job.
    I love it so far. I love everything about it. And I’m excited to continue to go into work every single day and do what I’m doing. I can only hope that I continue to feel this way, and I do believe I will.
  • More family time.
    When my half sister passed away, I realized just how much my family means to me and just how precious time with them is. This means that I am going to make an effort to see my family more, even if they do live over an hour away. This coming weekend is my nephew’s birthday party, so that’s a good start!
  • Rock ‘n Roll Providence Half Marathon.
    So, I’m super nervous about this. Let’s be real. Running took the back burner when I started doing (and loving/being obsessed with) CrossFit. So, my only goal for this race is to finish and not to stress out about my time. Seeing as I’m insanely competitive, I feel like the not stressing part will be hard for me. But I’m going to try.
  • Speaking of CrossFit…more CrossFit.
    When I look at some of the things I’ve accomplished so far and some of the times I’m recording and weight I’m putting up…I’m amazed. Absolutely astonished at what I am capable of. I am so, so excited to continue doing CrossFit and to continue seeing gains in my strength and overall fitness.

And, last but not least…the biggest thing of all…the thing about which I am most excited…

  • This dog.

    I’m getting her on Sunday. She is three months old and I already love her very much. I am getting her from Paws to the Rescue in South Carolina. Also, I named her Maeby, after a character in one of my favorite shows. She has a crate and toys and an argyle collar waiting for her.

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So yes, bring it on August. I’m ready for you, and I’m excited for you. And I believe that you are going exceed my expectations. July certainly did.

It’s July. And I’m Relieved.

Though March and April had their ups and downs, June was the month that got me.  In chronological order, June was a month of…

…not getting a job that I was told was “guaranteed.”
…a break-up.
…losing my best friend, Oscar.
…losing my half sister, Karen, to a long battle with complications from Lyme Disease.

Along with other, more trivial disappointing events in my life, these are the bigger let-downs, obviously some things more significant than others. It honestly felt like I was being hit with bad news and disappointment every way I turned.  It felt like I had no time to recover from anything, and it seemed as though each thing was worse than the thing preceding it.  Perhaps most significantly, as I was still grieving the loss of my dog, I found out about my half sister, and I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me.  Each and every thing was building up all around me and I felt there was no escape from it all.

When I was in New York this past weekend, I had time to take a step back from the reality of all that has come at me over the past few weeks.  On Sunday, for the first time in over a month, I felt like myself.  I felt happy.  I was able to put everything out of my mind, if only for a few hours.  And then it hit me: June was over.  In a half-hearted attempt to make myself feel better about everything, I reminded myself that it was July 1st, and thus the first half of this–sometimes very disappointing–year was over; it was a new month and fresh start.  I told myself that things could only improve.

July is a mere five days in, and so far, in chronological order, it has been a month of…

…volunteering at a wonderful dog adoption event in NYC (with Adopt NY).  And falling in love with one adorable puppy.  I knew it would happen but I’m not sure if the timing is right.
…a 105-pound split jerk at CrossFit…a new PR!
…a job offer!  Which I accepted!  I am now the Marketing Assistant at a nonprofit in the Hartford area.  I am really, really excited about this job…it’s just the direction I wanted to take.
…visiting my friend Jason, who I met when I studied abroad in London.  My visit included: a trip to the gym (with 7 minutes of burpees, “Annie” in 6:56 [14 seconds faster than a week ago!], and a 200-pound deadlift, which is a 55 pound PR from four weeks ago!); a stop at the Whole Foods salad bar, and an amazingly delicious dinner later on; and Fourth of July fireworks on his friend’s rooftop deck.

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I’m so grateful that everything is turning around.  I’m honestly not entirely sure what the point of this post is, but more than anything I think it’s a chance for me to reflect on all that has happened and all the good that is coming my way.

I truly believe that I wouldn’t have these difficulties and challenges thrown in my direction if I couldn’t handle them.  In the end, though I’m still struggling with the aforementioned things that happened in June, I am doing better, I am stronger and better for having gone through all of this, and every single day is going to bring more good my way.