I don’t think I can go to New York. Not yet, anyway. There are a few things that made this decision difficult. But there are also a few things that made it really easy.
For one, in order for us to get the price we wanted on a specific apartment, we would have to sign a two-year lease. With no job lined up, and only enough for just under a year’s worth of rent, it wouldn’t make sense for me to sign a lease and make that commitment. As much as I want to have that “now is the time to take risks” mentality, this is just a bit too much of a risk.
The other big reason I won’t be leaving is because of work. Long story short, I am in a situation now where I have presumably been given an opportunity to do well, and to succeed. Whereas ideally this opportunity would’ve arisen months ago (or even when I first started back in June), I suppose it is better late than never. At this point, I need to have a chance to excel and I need to prove what I am capable of. I am no IT genius, that’s for sure. But I do believe that if I am trained and given the resources I need to do well, I will excel. And if I don’t, then it’s on me. But at this point, my future can be deeply affected one way or the other with this position. If I committed myself to giving it my all and then chose to leave in three weeks, that would not smart. It wouldn’t look good, and it would leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.
As I mentioned last time, if New York is something I really want, then I will get there. It may be six months, it may be a year, but it will happen if I want it to, because ultimately I make the decisions, and I make things happen.
I leave you with this adorable picture that showed up in my email earlier today. It’s no secret that I love pitbulls, so here is this:
And may I remind you that this breed of dog is allegedly dangerous and aggressive. I think not.
ETA (about an hour later): I was mistaken. Notice how above I said presumably? Well that presumed opportunity was wrong. In its place? No opportunities here, but plenty of opportunities elsewhere. On to bigger and better things, I guess. But still not sure what’s next.